I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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