yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
