He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
