Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
