yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
