just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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