Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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