farters have to be the big spoon...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
