Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she smelled like a LAN party
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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