I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
