you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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