Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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