you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
