did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
