Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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