is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
