Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
