Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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