i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
