We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
