It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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