So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
