Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
