I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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