"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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