when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
handjob tips. give me some.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
