Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Randomize
