OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
