she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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