what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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