By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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