i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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