Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
