Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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