Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She's the barista slut.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
