Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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