Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Randomize
