If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
