Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
