New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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