Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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