How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
