Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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