Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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