In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
vagina is talking i cant
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
