So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
