my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
