never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
