I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize