So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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