You made me cry and you don't even care
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
