my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
