And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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