You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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