Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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