I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize