She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
