There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
