We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
