I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
