I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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