How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
