This girl is more easily done than said...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
