Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
