ya dads aren't the best wingmen
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
