I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
