one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Farmville is her only friend.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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