When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
