I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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