Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
