the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
